Air Force One, Now With More Leg Room (And Maybe a Souk)

Washington D.C.—The political landscape took another unexpected turn this week, with The Trump administration set to accept a lavish Boeing 747-8 from the Qatari royal family. Sources say the plane, rumored to have gold-plated seat belts, will serve as the new Air Force One.

“America First," Trump declared in a late-night Truth Social post, "but you know what else is first? This incredible plane! The best plane. Qatar gets it. They sent over the specs – the master bathroom is bigger than my first apartment! Sad!"

The deal, which has been described by some as "a geopolitical fever dream" and by others as "a solid business move for the Trump Administration," involves the Qatari government "temporarily gifting" the aircraft to the U.S. government, with the distinct understanding that it will eventually become the crown jewel of the Trump Presidential Library.

A Qatari spokesperson, attempting to clarify the situation, stated, "This is simply a gesture of friendship between nations. And perhaps, a gentle reminder as we discuss future energy contracts. A slight adjustment in our favor? Maybe a favorable tariff or two? We believe in mutually beneficial relationships."

Sources close to the deal suggest the aircraft boasts amenities such as a dedicated enclosure for the president's prized golf clubs, and even preliminary blueprints for an optional onboard camel riding track.

Congressional Reactions have been mixed. Democrats have expressed outrage, with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer stating, "That's not fair!"

Republicans, have largely remained silent, though one Delaware senator did remark, "Have you seen the legroom on that thing? I'm not complaining."

Reports indicate that the Air Force is scrambling to modify the plane to meet presidential security standards. Some of those modifications include:

-Installing a secure communications system.
-Removing the in-flight hookah lounge.
-Adding missile defense systems.
-Reinforcing the mini-bar.
-Security sweeps to ensure no spying devices are present.
-Removing any extra loose gold fittings.
-Integrating the military's most advanced, state-of-the-art weapons deflection technology.
-Removing the onboard majlis seating area.

No word yet if the onboard souk will accept American Express.